


Be My Valentine (Today and Forever)

by williamastankova



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: At Least To Begin With, Coming Out, Drunken Confessions, Drunkenness, First Kiss, M/M, Then other shenanigans, Valentine's Day, etc - Freeform, such as
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 14:16:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18551452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/williamastankova/pseuds/williamastankova
Summary: Billy's developed a little crush. Max learns about this crush and tries to help him out, by suggesting he make Steve a Valentine's Day card. Turns out, after multiple failed attempts, that it's much easier and much more complex than just that.





	Be My Valentine (Today and Forever)

"Fuck this shit, Max." Billy proclaims, throwing down the paper he's holding and tucking his head into his arms in frustration. "It's all bullshit anyway."

Max rolled her eyes and gave him a look. "Well, you're never getting anywhere with him thinking like that."

Valentine's Day. In Billy's opinion, the worst holiday on the entire calendar. Twelve months, usually three hundred and sixty five days, and they chose to waste one on such a bullshit celebration. _Love_. What did that even mean anyway? He didn't _love_  Steve. The only person he'd ever loved was his mother, and never like _that_. Besides, look where that had gotten him.

He just liked how Steve looked, and how he acted towards Billy. He didn't treat him like a king, like everyone else did. Plus, Steve was pretty. And he smiled a lot - to others, that is. Billy hadn't had one of those infamous sunshine-beams directed at him - not yet, anyway.

That was what he was trying to do. With a stupid fucking card and a stupid fucking holiday, he was trying to get Steve to smile at him. Tough fucking luck, it was more probable that his card would be shredded and his face caved in. He didn't know how Steve felt about gays like him, but he didn't really care to find out.

Actually, the idea wasn't even his. He was perfectly happy to bury his little 'crush' or whatever it was, until when he accidentally let slip to Max. Since then, she'd been trying desperately to help him out, and ever since January she'd wanted him to hand-craft a Valentine's card. Despite Billy insisting that he could just buy a much nicer one, she said that wasn't good enough. She knew Steve better, so she knew he'd appreciate the effort more than the outcome.

Easier said than done, he thought as he looked down at the mess that was the bent white card with glitter spread across it, like some moronic five year old had had a seizure while making it. He swore countless times under his breath, and when his rage grew enough, he threw the scissors across the room, at the wall, purposefully avoiding Max's general direction. Still, she drew in a sharp breath and called him an asshole. He didn't even have it in him to ask her what she said.

"I'll just buy one." He declared, pushing away from the table and stalking off into his room, slamming the door behind him.

Only, when he heard Max head to bed that night, after completing her nightly routine (eat supper, brush teeth, brush hair, turn lights off), he snuck quietly out of his room and into the dining room once again, where he sat back down at the table and resumed his work, cutting out two small pink hearts for the front of the card. More careful with the glitter this time, he spread it evenly on the front, then when the glue had all solidified, he opened the page and began writing his message:

"Steve,

I'm the person you'd least expect to be yours, but I am.  
Be my valentine?

Love, unknown."

After reading and re-reading his words, he nodded to himself, deeming it good enough, and went back to his room. Seeing as it was only February 10th, he figured he'd hide the card within piles of clothes until he was able to slyly post it through the gap in Steve's locker, seeing as he didn't want Neil to find it in the mean time and beat him half (or fully) to death.

On Valentine's eve, he stayed late after school (well, okay, not like it was his choice, but he liked to think it was a strategically planned detention) and managed to put the card into Steve's locker. Grinning to himself, he strode out of school and to his car, then drove home. The next morning, he got in extra early to make sure he didn't miss Steve's reaction, and he was at least somewhat glad he didn't.

Steve, looking tired after a night of undoubted hard studying, groggily arrived at his locker, and just about managed to remember the combination to open it. Upon doing so, he noticed the little white card, and he placed the books he had been carrying inside while carefully prying open the paper. He read the message quickly, seeing as it was only short, and then smiled. Honestly smiled, and Billy had to know it was his doing. Proudly, Billy slipped back into the crowd and headed somewhere else, so as not to draw attention to himself.

Steve may not have smiled _at_  him, but it was pretty damn close.

**

That evening, Billy managed to locate Steve outside of school, performing a balancing act as he made his way to his car to go home for the day. What was Steve balancing, exactly? Well, as it looked to Billy, he'd accumulated a large pile of presents from fellow 'secret admirers', and Billy's insides raged. He couldn't pinpoint who he was raging at, but Steve was here right now, so it was pretty much an immediate done deal.

"Harrington!" He called after him, earning an audible groan from the man who had just reached his vehicle, "What you got there?"

"None of your business," Steve retorted, looking at him defensively.  
"Ooh," Billy mocked his tone, "Is that French?"

Steve scoffed, then asked, "What do you want, Billy?"  
"Just wanted to chat, 's all, Stevie." He reached over to the basket of goodies Steve had received and picked out the first thing he touched, "Oh, this is lovely. Bath salts! You can get all nice and cozy with these, can't you?"

Steve stole the gift back, and gave him a snide look. He didn't say anything, so Billy - feeling bolder than before - grabbed his own card and opened it, pretending to read it for the first time. Then, he looked up at Steve, forcing a mischievous grin as he spoke.  
"Who's this from?"

"I don't know, I think that's kinda the point of the holiday." Steve's tone was icier this time. "Don't you have somewhere to be?"  
"Nah, don't have my date til seven," he lied. "Til then, I'm all yours."

In his mind, the 'til then' became 'forever', but Steve didn't need to know that. His little hint of 'I'm all yours' was sufficiently risky for now.  
"Oh, goodie." Steve mocked, then began loading his car. Suddenly, he stopped, but because Steve had his back to him, Billy couldn't see why. He didn't like this feeling.  
"What are you doing?"

A pause. "Smelling a rose."

 _I wish I was that rose_ , Billy thought quietly, solemn in his own brain.  
"What?"

Shit. Shit, he'd gone and said it out loud, hadn't he? Now, all he could hope was that he spoke as softly as he'd thought, because if he hadn't he'd gone and outed himself, right there and then. Not only as gay, but as gay for _Steve_ , and that was something he realised he wasn't ready for Steve to know just yet.

"I said you're gross." He tried to add as much venom to his words as he could muster, but fell just short of malicious. Thinking this was a good time to take his leave, Billy threw down the cigarette he'd been puffing on and stomped it out, right beside Steve's car, then walked quickly away, back to his own.

 _Phew_ , he thought, _that was a close one._

**

"Hey, Shitbird."

Max narrowed her eyes at the nickname. Since they'd called a truce (or, at least, for the time being), he wasn't supposed to say stuff like that to her. After all, she was helping him out with Steve, when she had no obligation to. He gave her an apologetic look and lowered his head a little, along with the volume of his voice.

"You haven't heard any rumours in school yet, have you?"  
"Well, duh," she looked at him like he was an idiot, obviously not having forgiven him just yet for the name calling, "There's rumours every day. Could you be more specific?"

Without thinking, he told her. "There's a rumour going around that Steve and I went on a date."  
"What?" Her mouth formed an 'o', "Who started that?"  
"Me." He grinned evilly at her.

She shook her head disapprovingly, but still her mouth formed a proud smile. "You're evil."  
"An evil _genius_ , Maxine." He corrected, "This way, I might not even have to ask him out myself, but let the talkers do their talking, and work their magic for me."

Having finished getting ready, the pair left the otherwise silent house, void of any parents, and hopped in Billy's car, beginning the drive to school. Max drew the window down, feeling a little warm in her outfit of choice, and the wind blew her hair back. By the time they'd reached school, she'd managed to cool down, and when she got out without a goodbye (they did have to keep up appearances everywhere but at home, ultimately), Billy took the time to rummage through his glove compartment to find something he'd remembered he'd lost.

Soon enough, however, he forgot what he was looking for, because a knock at his windows sufficiently scared the fuck out of him, and made him jump back and smack his head on the underside of his dashboard. Rubbing his neck, he rose, looking at the window closest to him, then at the one Max had left half open. There, outside, looking directly at him, was Steve.

"Hey, can we talk?" He asked politely, but Billy knew it wasn't a question. Nodding, silently cursing and praising Max for being so careless, he got out of the car and followed Steve to a secluded area, around the back of the school.  
"What's up?"

His nonchalance failed to show through, as his voice came out croaky and frightened. There was no doubt in his mind what it was about, but he was scared what Steve was going to say. Either, he was going to punch him and finally set the records straight about them going out, proven to the general public with potential bruises down his face, or he was going to tell him he felt the same and maybe - oh God, maybe even kiss him. Billy didn't know which he was more afraid of, and deliberating so much over it almost made him not realise when Steve started talking.

"I don't know why, but people think you and I are..." Steve didn't finish his sentence, but instead crossed his arms. "I want you to explain why you told people we were."  
"I, uh..." Billy was dumbfounded. His foolproof plan had been foiled! What was he going to do now? Apparently, when Steve began speaking again, nothing.

"Listen, I want to get one thing straight: just because you've found out I'm bi doesn't mean you can use it against me, alright?" Steve threatened, nearing Billy's face, making his brain scramble even more. "You can forget it if you're going to use this to blackmail me with, because it's not going to work. I don't care if people know I'm into dudes, because they're going to think you are too, which is honestly probably more embarrassing for you, considering you're not actually-"

"I am, actually." Billy's mind and brain betrayed him, conspiring behind his back to form such words. They went on, speaking more boldly now. "Yeah, I am."  
It was Steve's turn to look lost. "I, uh... right. Okay."

Having lost his leverage, Steve furrowed his eyebrows in confusion of what to do next, then shook his head in disbelief and wandered off, back the way they had came from. He didn't stop shaking his head until Billy lost sight of him, when he turned the corner, and Billy was finally left on his own to think why the _hell_  he'd thought that was a good idea. Telling Steve he was gay? Smart move, dickhead. Then again... Steve was bi? This was new information to him. And useful, too. Storing it in the back of his mind, Billy finally emerged from the hiding spot and re-joined the crowd, allowing himself to be herded into school like a sheep on a farm.

So, if he started at Steve throughout first and second period, unable to forget their encounter, who was to judge him?

**

Of-fucking-course. As usual, Tina's parties were brilliantly planned: everyone showed up, everyone got wasted, everyone got rowdy, and the cops got called. In short, this was why everyone had to run and hide while Tina dealt with them downstairs, trying to convince them everybody had gone home earlier that night, so there was no reason to get the law involved. In the less-than-a-minute they had to scatter, Billy hadn't even thought, really, when he ran into the nearest closet. He'd seen somebody else running there, too, but it hadn't hit him who he was with until the closet door was shut, and the minimal light the gaps in the wood was letting through from crappy bulb outside let him see who his companion was: Steve.

Looking back, there wasn't really anyone else it was going to be. From what they'd been through, pairing him with anyone else would be too kind of the universe. And, from what Billy had learned, the universe was never kind. So, trying to make the best of the bad situation, he opened his mouth to speak, but was beat to the chase by Steve.  
"Billy," he hissed out, whispering, "is that your hand on my ass?"

Billy couldn't suppress his grin as he realised that, yes, it was indeed his hand on Steve's ass. It really had been an accident: with the rush and the cramped space, he'd just thrown his limbs wherever they would fit. For example, that was why his legs were star-fishing, and his back was digging into something sharp on the wall of the closet. Then again, Billy began to feel something, and he realised. Still, he had to tell the truth.  
"It was an accident."

A brief moment passed, before Steve once again broke the silence. "Billy, your hand's still on my ass!"  
"It's still an accident!" Billy retorted, before seeing Steve roll his eyes and bat his hand away, making it fall uncomfortably to his side.   
"Of course I'm stuck here with you," Steve spoke, voice almost a sigh.

Billy only half had to feign his hurt face. "I'm offended. And here I was, thinking this would be a bonding moment for us."  
"You realise what this is going to do, right?" Steve raised his eyebrow at him, inquisitive. "All this is going to do is make people believe we're dating, even more than they do already."

Billy threw the idea around his head a little, then had to stop himself smiling. "Is it really that bad, Harrington? I mean, look at this pretty face. Aren't there worse situations to be in, than here now? Children are starving, you know."

Steve eyed him for a moment, almost looking gleeful, then shook his head and scoffed. "Shut up, man."  
"You know you want it." Billy teased, throwing his hook out once more. He almost thought Steve might take the bait, with the way he looked back at him, but then Tina entered the room and called that the cops were gone, and Steve was straight out of the closet.

Well.

**

"Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand."

Billy, predictably, was drunk. If he wasn't, he wouldn't have said anything like that, let alone to Steve, yet here they were. Steve ogled him stupidly, then let his mouth fall open. He almost looked like he was going to say something, but then his mouth closed and he took another minute to think of an appropriate response. Finally having gathered his thoughts, he said:  
"I don't know how I could know that."

Billy drunkenly moved his head and quirked an eyebrow. "That sounds like a proposition, Harrington. Are you proposing to me?"

Steve sighed, shaking his head in disapproval. "They don't even stem from the same verb."  
"You're doing a lot of talking for somebody who should be kissing me right now."

Steve shot him a 'are you serious right now' look, and he felt oddly proud, if not completely out of his mind. He held Steve's eye, who just paused before shaking head again, ridding himself of his thoughts, and resigned.  
"We've got to get you home," he said.

"No," Billy spoke sharply, suddenly. "No, you can't."

He knew Steve had meant it as a statement, not up for debate. However, Billy was serious in his interjection, and Steve could tell it. He stopped fiddling with his keys and eyed Billy, seemingly checking whether or not he was being serious.  
"Why not?"

Billy took in a deep, bountiful lung-full of air before he spoke. Always one for dramatics, he took a moment to prepare himself, then said, "Tonight. It's the day my mom... you know. Neil drinks pretty heavily every year. Every day, really, but it's just... the memory, you get me?"

His eyelids are all but closing as he falls asleep standing. They're still outside of Steve's house, where Steve found Billy on the lawn just moments ago before he assessed the situation and concluded that Billy couldn't be left to his own devices until he sobered up.

"So do you, apparently," Steve seemed to immediately regret his words, looking guilty and sheepish, eyes apologetic. Billy waved him off.

"It's whatever," he said, "Just needed to go somewhere that wasn't home, for obvious reasons. You're the closest person. Or, well, the closest person who I knew wouldn't take advantage of me being like this."

Steve's eyes shot wide open. "Take advantage of you? Jesus, Billy, yeah, okay. Come on in."

Steve ushered him in with a firm arm around his waist, letting Billy's arm lay lazily over his shoulder, providing little to no support for the man. He navigated the two of them to the nearest couch, where he lay Billy down in the safest position for him just in case he threw up when he went to sleep or something, then left to go fetch a blanket.

"My parents aren't back til tomorrow afternoon," Steve was half talking to himself, because Billy was already almost asleep. He still tried to remain at least somewhat attentative, trying to piece together the bits that he heard. He caught the gist in one sentence, that being, "You should be feeling better by then."

Billy writhed around, to Steve's dismay, who had to re-organise his limbs for him, seeing as he'd gone and messed up the position Steve had purposefully lay him in. He smiled messily at Steve, and he knew his hair was barely up to a human standard, let alone his own - let alone Steve's, by God. Regardless, he wanted Steve to look at him so he could properly see him, maybe even speak to him.

Steve, thankfully, finally did look at him, to check if he'd nodded off yet. Billy took this chance to murmur what he'd been thinking the entire time, and had been hoping to get the chance to say.

"'think I love you, Steve."

And then his vision was engulfed by blackness.

***

Billy, to his dismay, hasn't lost that part of his memory. Everything after? Sure. Before? Absolutely. But the point - the exact moment - at which he told Steve he loved him? Completely, utterly, irritatingly intact.

He considered avoiding school for, like, the rest of his life. He even pondered upon the possibility of running away like an outlaw and going back home - to his real home - and maybe finding happiness there. But then, in some crevice of his soppy mind, he knew now he'd had a taste of what life could be like - a life with Steve in it, even amongst all the other shitty things - he couldn't ever go back.

This was why, come Monday morning, he forced himself to rise from his bed, dress himself, taking the usual half hour to fix his hair, and hop in the car to drop both himself and Max off at school. Normally he liked feeling the eyes of onlookers on him, but today it felt wrong. It felt sinful, like everybody knew, even though he was somewhat sure Steve wouldn't have done that. He'd probably just hold it above his head, as leverage so as to stop Billy bullying him anymore - and that, as annoying as it was, was an outcome Billy could live with.

An outcome he couldn't live with, however, was the other option. The option where, from here on out, Steve completely avoided him, treated him like he was bizarre, or like he didn't exist at all. Billy supposed he'd even prefer daily torment as opposed to that, though he couldn't fairly say just yet. He just knew that losing Steve - even as an enemy, as they could be considered - was unbearable.

He, much unlike his usual self, hunched himself over and made himself small, trying to avoid any and all attention. He slipped into the school rather unnoticed, and it was only then that he realised how ridiculous he was being. He was playing at being a spy, much like a five year old might. What did he have to hide, anyway? Worst case scenario, Steve didn't want him in the same way. Awful, okay, but he could force his hard outer shell and try to show the world that he didn't really care. The next time he saw Steve, he would be standoffish, just to avoid any potential embarrassment. The next time he saw Steve-

"Billy."

-was right then, in that second. Not even two minutes into the school day, and he's being beckoned over by Steve, stood by some lockers that he had no right to be at, like a child in trouble with the principal. He ignores how his body makes him gulp on instinct, and quirks an eyebrow at Steve, oozing attitude.

"What do you want, Harrington?" His annoyance does sound forced, but he figures it's good enough when Steve rolls his eyes and just motions to him again.

"Get here."

Billy obeys, hesitant at first, and then inhales sharply when Steve takes his arm roughly and begins pulling him away from the secluded spot. He's about to argue, to jerk his wrist away from the vice-like grip, but then Steve's throwing open a door and they're inside a sterile room. Well, in theory, because when he looks around it's pretty clear it's just the bathrooms.

Steve drops his arm and swivels to face him, looking breathless himself. He sighs, seeming to collect himself, but then launches into a great big monologue before Billy can get any word in.

"I've been driving myself mad over the last weekend because of what you said. The thing is, I don't even know if you remember saying it, because you were completely wasted. You said it was because... actually never mind. Sorry. I just- I need to know if you remember what you said, and if you meant it."

Billy's left blinking at him for a moment. He doesn't know exactly how to respond to that, because it didn't really help him gauge anything. He was hoping that, if Steve did corner him, he'd give him something to spin his lie off of, but he hasn't. He doesn't know if Steve's asking because he likes him and he's interested in taking their relationship further (at least past the fighting and spitting, that is) or because he wants to tell Billy that it's not going to happen. Billy flushes, panicked, and only manages a small, single word, that comes out somewhat like a mewl.

"Yeah."

Steve looks at him, eyes sharp and fingers caught running through his hair. Billy feels like prey, caught by its predator. The intensity of his stare only increases as he begins speaking once more, saying, "Yeah? Yeah as in you remember, or yeah as in you meant it? Or both?"

Billy's desperately clawing at something - anything - because he needs to know how Steve's feeling about this whole ordeal. Even though he tries hard, however, there's something just so ambiguous about Steve's words and actions that he can't help but feel he's been left alone, completely isolated, in his corner of the conversation. He decides it's best to play it safe with short, minimal-word answers for the time being.

"Both."

So, okay, maybe it's not _that_  safe, because now he's gone and said it. It's officially out in the open that, even while he's completely stone-cold (far too, in his opinion) sober, he loves Steve, and it's the silence that follows his word that's the most soul-destroying part of it all.

He watches Steve watch him, and when he's ready to turn back and leave, possibly forever, he's caught by the arm, and Steve's other hand is on his face, cupping his neck - just a little too low to be his cheek - meaning he can't face any other way but directly at the brunette. Then, in a fit of self-consciousness, he's sealing his eyes shut and willing them to open only when Steve's gone.

He can't say he's wholly shocked when there's suddenly a brush of lips, but he can't exactly deny that he's gone into full-blown cardiac arrest either. He feels Steve press himself impossibly close to him, so close that he can even feel Steve's eyelashes against his cheek when his eyes squeeze shut. Billy knows exactly how he's feeling, because he feels the same way: desperate to not be rejected.

He lets his eyes flutter open, still in shock of what was happening. Some intelligent part of him is praying that they really are alone in the bathroom because this is going to be seriously hard to explain/live down if they aren't. But then, in an instant, he's looking upon Steve, who's got his eyes tightly closed and looks almost in pain. They're of course in close proximity, so much so that the rise of Steve's chest as he breathes prevents Billy's. Even so, he can still admire how Steve looks, even though he's distressed, and he relishes briefly in the look on his pretty face when Billy finally presses back against him, guiding him to the nearby wall, and then he closes his eyes again.

When his back hits it, it seems that Steve's a little winded, if not just exciteable. He breaks the kiss and finally opens his eyes to look at Billy. This man, who until five minutes ago (or, in some way, since Friday night) he thought hated his guts had just kissed him breathless. This fact alone left him confused - left the pair of them confused, really - but ultimately utterly enticed by the other.

"I..." Steve tried, but shook his head and simply ended with, "Wow."

Billy chuckled, looking down at the floor as he nervously repeated, "Wow."

There was a moment of silence in which Billy just thought 'that just happened' over and over again, and he felt it was relatively safe to assume Steve was doing the same. He opened his mouth a few times, thinking he had something to say - something important to input - but always ended up closing it again, because 'wow' pretty much said it all.

'Wow' was 'wow, we should have done that sooner'. 'Wow' was 'wow, I never thought that'd happen'. 'Wow' was 'wow, is that going to happen again? Please say yes'. 'Wow' said just about everything that crossed Billy's mind, so he just stopped and took a moment to mull it over, then looked back up at Steve who he saw was fumbling about.

He pulled at the shirt he was wearing (what a nerd), seeing that it had become crumpled when Billy had finally worked up the nerve to reciprocate the kiss. Billy, if they were on their previous terms, might have made fun of him for this, but he didn't. Instead he watched as Steve fixed himself, then went over to the mirror and fixed his hair. He cast a look at Billy and gave him a look that urged him to do the same, but Billy waved him off. This was something he wanted _everybody_  to know about.

Just then, the first bell went, and Steve pushed back from the mirror, taking instead to look at Billy. He smiled softly at him, and then spoke.

"You ready?" He asked, nodding towards the shut door.   
"Yeah," Billy nodded to him, "Yeah, I think so. Only-"

He placed a hand firmly on Steve's chest as he went to grab the door handle, blocking him from exiting the room. A momentary look of confusion flooded Steve's face, but then when Billy stooped down just ever-so-slightly to his level to kiss him, he really couldn't form a complaint. His face softened and he fell once more pliant, like dough, in Billy's hands. He let himself be kissed until he came back to himself, then reluctantly withdrew.

"We've got to go," he stated, looking guilty but serious. He kept his eyes on Billy's, waiting for a response.

Soon enough, Billy was nodding, grinning uncontrollably, and letting Steve slip past him. He was going to say something, but then he forgot what it was. It probably wasn't so important anyway.

Steve turned back to him, his hand resting on the handle to the door, ready to pull it open and let the light and reality flood back into the room, onto them. He turned back, closer to Billy now, and formed a question with the greatest little four words Billy's ears had ever been graced with.

"See you at lunch?"

Oh, yes.

**Author's Note:**

> I think I originally based this off of a Tumblr post? Not too sure, I left it in my 'work in progress' folder for a while aha. Hope you enjoyed regardless!
> 
> Always feel free to leave requests/suggestions in the comments :)


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